I feel old.

I am old.

It just recently, I started to attend Islamic talks, Quran class and usrah. It was amazing to gather with all these baik-baik people, Subhanallah, on my left and right, I met lots of girls who is way younger than me, covering their aurat properly, very soft spoken and when they speak their words are full with praises to The Creator. I feel ashamed of myself. I feel envious of them. They are protected and understand their religion at a very young age. If you haven't realize, there is a huge difference between knowing and understanding. Sadly, I only realize that in my early 20s, after two decades of living in this world! Looking back, it was really upset to see how much I've missed throughout my 20 years of living. All this while, I wear hijab but I didn't cover all my aurat yet. I pray but I never really understand all the ayat I read in my prayer. I do good deeds and sadaqah for the sake of pleasing others. I made mistakes that I clearly learn in Islamic Education subject during my school days. Though I am Islam by birth and over and over again I was reminded about Islam, I never take the opportunity to understand and apply it in my life. Seriously, how sad is that?

By looking at this girls, I'm happy and I feel grateful for them. They don't care about pleasing others because all they want is Allah's blessing. They don't care about branded items or being fashionable because modesty is what matters. They have so many Ibadah to look forward to that they don't have time to go for clubbing or hangout late night or even watching television. Every aspect of their lives is filled with love and Islamic thoughts. I think these girls are really cool! And special because they understand their religion well. I want to be like them. I want to try my very best to please my Creator. I want to start understand Islam, InsyaAllah. I don't want to waste more time because I'm already old and I realize I don't have much time. The older I get, the closer I come to death. We never know when our time will come so I want to invite you too my dear readers, let's learn and understand our religion better. Knowing is never enough, really. We don't want to be among the ignorance who know but refuse to understand, right? So let's start now! ^_^